What to Do When you Lose Your Job
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On July 3rd of this year, I was let go. Itās been quite the journey. Honestly, I still havenāt processed it all the way through; however, simply typing out this story should be somewhat therapeutic for me. Iāve been putting it off, and putting it off, but I * think * I am ready now. Though I have come up with a million things for me to do besides write it out. Letās see how long it takes. I want to share my story, not so you can feel sorry for me. Trust me. Even though it hurt and was horrible, it is what got me to where I am today - we wouldnāt have moved to LA had it not occurred. Iām writing this because when I finally publicly said that I lost my job, I had an outpouring of you reaching out to say that you had gone through the same thing, were still going through it, and/or loved seeing me talk about it, as it gave you strength and comfort. So, today Iām going to tell my story, but also give practical tipsā¦ tips that everyone needs to know! Before July, I didnāt know how to proceed when losing a job, because I had never experienced it. Well unfortunately, now I know; but, I know a lot of you donāt. SO, first, Iām going to go into what you should do when you lose your job, then I'll share my story.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR JOB
Donāt Sign Anything. Well, depending on what it says. As a general rule of thumb, Iād say itās ok to sign it if it is amicable and you agree to to what it says. If you donāt agree with it / it is not amicable, donāt sign it. Sounds logical, but I was told I HAD to sign something and I didnāt actually have to. Last week I talked about your rights as an employee and why not to sign things this over on this blog post.
Take Your Stuff With You. This is only really applicable if they are escorting you out. If they tell you you can come back to get your personal belongings, I would say no. Get your things NOW. Chances are you wonāt want to come back.
Tell People. It may feel embarrassing and you might want to hide it, but I encourage you to voice it. Talking about can help with coping and let the healing begin. Plus those people in your circle can speak words of life into you. Youāll want their words of affirmation!
Sign Up for Unemployment. Even if you are receiving severance, go ahead and apply as soon as possible. It takes around two-ish weeks to get approved. If you only get two weeks severance and donāt immediately apply, you are missing out on money, as you canāt backdate your request. If your severance is longer than two weeks, still go ahead and apply. You can begin requesting money when your severance is up and do so for up to 18 months. Itās different for every state, but in Texas you can find all the info at the Texas Workforce Commission.
Take a Break. Itās okay to take a day or two and re-group. Relax and then get ready to hit the pavement.
Update your Resume. Go ahead and update it to include your previous role if you havenāt already. Youāll want to obviously update the dates too. Depending on how the previous job was and how long you were there, you may or may not want to include it on your resume. I was only at my job for 2 months, so initially I didnāt keep it on my resume; however, I did end up including it as it was a higher position title than my previous role. I donāt have it on my LinkedIn though, as I donāt want to be associated with it, but every situation is different! I speak more to this on this blog post about resume writing tips.
Turn on LinkedIn Interests. You can go into settings and let employers / recruiters know that you are open and looking for a position! This is super easy and doesnāt even require you to actively apply for jobs for it to work. (Though you obviously should apply for things, especially if you are requesting unemployment money.)
OTHER THOUGHTS:
Insurance. If you have it, it should go through the end of the month in which you were let go. After that you can use Cobra benefits. Cobra can be backdated too, so other than it probably not being as good as your previous insurance, you are good!
PTO. Did you have paid time off (PTO) that you were owed? Make sure this is paid out to you, if they in fact pay out and you have some left.
Applying for Jobs. This might be kind of scarring, as some places ask if you have been fired and what not. Just make sure you know what they are asking and answer honestly. It kind of feels like a mark on your record, but getting let go happens more than you think.
Therapy. You may need to talk it through with someone. No shame in that! I probably should still do thisā¦ Just know that an average of 54,966 get let go EVERY DAY. (based on a study in 2017) You are not alone!
References. Lean on other contacts or references you might have. Luckily, I had a good relationship and track record with my previous employer of 5+ years. If you donāt have that length of tenure, think of a co-worker, old manager, or professor you can use. Really anyone who has worked with you in the past, regardless of when. I stressed the time for me, as it looks kind of odd to have job listed and only have 2 months there.
Have any other tips or suggestions? Let me know in the comments below or send me an email! Always looking for more advice. Read on to hear my story.
Madewell Cashmere Sweatshirt | Madewell Button Up Jeans | Vince Camuto Over The Knee Boots (old, similar here) | Kendra Scott Blush Necklace (c/o) | Hat (old, similar here)
March 2019 marked 5 years of me being at the same company. I had gotten the vibes that there wasnāt really room for advancement, so I began looking for other opportunities 6-ish months prior to my 5 year anniversary. In April, I received a call from a place I applied to in February. To be honest, I thought they werenāt interested anymore, so I didnāt give it much thought. Just a side thought - As Iāve been applying to jobs, itās kind of hurtful when I get a response immediately saying NOPE, but I think itās even more hurtful when 4 or 5 months have passed and you get an email saying they went in a different direction. While I appreciate them letting me knowā¦ if it has been that long, Iām not holding my breath for it. Iāve already moved on! Why even send an email?!
Anyway, like I said, two months after applying and exchanging some emails and then hearing nothing, I heard back from this new company. Looking back, it should have been a red flag here. Their answer for getting back to me so much later was that they had too many things going on. They proceeded to schedule a phone interview with me, were 20 minutes late, and then proceeded to talk for an hour - which is a lot when you are trying to plan your current employerās lunch break around it! No joke, I think I fell asleep twice during the call, because of how much nonsense was spoken. Anyway, after the call, they asked me to come in for an interview, so I made time. Upon arriving, our interview went really well, I felt good about the position and the new opportunities. To my surprise, they offered me a job on the spot and said they wanted to pay me more than I had asked for. It sounded too good to be true (it was). I talked it over with Nick, accepted it the next week, gave my 3 weeks notice at work, and then took a little time off before beginning the new gig. Before starting, I met with a friend who was working there, in order to understand the environment. I was honestly kind of surprised, because a lot of the things she said were the opposite of what they told me. i.e. they told me I would be in charge of XXX, would be traveling, etcā¦ and she basically told me the opposite would be true. I didnāt really give it a second thought, because I was like oh well, Iāll cross that bridge when I get to it.
My first day was fine. Not a ton for me to do, but that is typically how first days go in my experience. What I quickly noticed was that the company was very successful and had a lot of capital. but was very unorganized. They didnāt really care if they did things inefficiently, as they had money to burn and no debt. This excited me though, as it was literally what I was hired for and what I excel at. Making processes and implementing them is one of my favorite things to do! What soon became a problem was that no one had time for me. I get that training people is time consuming - Iāve done it! BUT, once you train them, they can alleviate the areas that weigh you down. This position was also interesting, as I reported directly to the CEO. He was spread so thin that he didnāt really have time for me. He even snapped at me when I asked certain questions, and he knew I was a question asker in my interview! I love learning the why behind a decision, so it can better influence my decisions and help my understanding of the company. I digressā¦
My first day may have been ok, but that week I hit my first wall. One of the other employees, (weāll call her Vickie*), had an interesting work style. My first dose of it was that Vickie literally ignored me and any questions I had. She didnāt really come into the office, so not much I can do there regarding face to face communication. Anyway, I got looped into an email and asked for a report. Or at least thatās what I thought I was being asked for. I sent the report to the co-worker who requested it, and she gave Vickie what she asked for. Except that she didnāt give her what she neededā¦ She manually did something, but Vickie wanted a V-Lookup done and she wanted ME to do it. Mind you she never actually asked me, so I had no idea. Several aggressive emails later (from Vickie) and Iām super confused. This task was assigned to the co-worker, but Vickie kept asking me things. Anyway, at this point I spoke to my boss, the CEO. It was at this time, DURING MY FIRST WEEK, that he told me NOT to talk to Vickie and that he would handle the communication. He also said not to worry and that I didnāt report to her. I was relieved, but this should have been a red flag.
And that, friends is just the beginning of examples of issues. I wasnāt the only person who was affected by Vickieās behavior though. One day she wrote in all caps on Slack and publicly humiliated someone for not doing something. Sure, they probably should have done it, but thereās a better way to deal with that than sending a public instant message for all to see, let alone āscreamingā in all caps. Another example is about an idea I had. I thought a certain company would be a great partner, so I asked her about it. She actually gave me the contact info, as they had reached out before. I asked clarifying questions regarding free product giveaways, as the policies werenāt defined and I had never done one. She snapped at me saying if I needed her help with something that I should just figure it out myself or stop doing it. On another day, I was presenting a solution to a problem and she interrupted me by going off about how she had tried this a year ago. That it didnāt work and oh by the way even if this was implemented, she wasnāt going to do it, because there were 5 people sitting at a desk in Dallas who were paid to do things like this for her. (Yes, she said that - mind you, I had already done her work for this thing she was frustrated with AND had run the whole system by everyone it affected.) When I got back to my desk, a couple co-workers told me not to mind Vickie as thatās just how she is. Sometimes she reacts viscerally to things, but then calms down. WHAT? How is that okay? It is inexcusable to treat people like garbage.
Unfortunately, my boss was out of town during that last explosion. Needless to say, I started to take notes. I began to write down issues and dates. I brought them up to my boss when convenient. I voiced concern not just for my sake, but for the sake of other people. Each week, I would only receive praise from him regarding my work. How impressed he was, how grateful he was that I took the job. How he knew it was a risk for me to leave my other job. How he could tell I wasnāt truly happy, because I wasnāt able to dig into what they hired me to do yet, but to please stick around at least a year to give them a chance. Iām a 1 on the enneagram scale - a super driven and hard worker. I heard these praises from him, while overlooking the red flags from him as well. He was easily angered. One meeting he was so pissed about a mug order that was printed incorrectly, he ordered one of my co-workers to go smash one of the bad mugs with a hammer and put it in a box, so he could present it to the person whose fault it was. He repeatedly made fun of how I couldnāt hear. We were in a warehouse and it as loud. Yes, I do have bad hearing, but I know it and Iām not afraid to ask you if I need you to repeat yourself. āMy God, you have bad hearingā was constantly repeated to me. And yes I heard it every time. He also told me āI had the feelsā, because he knew that I didnāt like how Vickie spoke to me or others. Looking back at my in-person interview, I should have recognized the abusive behavior. At one point, he and Vickie spent 10 minutes on how other people who no longer worked for them were horrible workers, gave really specific examples, and even names!
On July 2nd, I worked from home, as I had a funeral to attend. I was working that morning before the funeral and noticed there was a slack message from Vickie. The back story is that I needed a piece of information to complete a job. Vickie assigned it to someone and they never did it, even after I repeatedly asked. This company didnāt organize their documents with a common naming standard or anything like that, so you had to know exactly what to type in, in order to find it. In this case I needed information on holiday cards, but they actually sorted them in a file under Christmasā¦a word they didnāt use anywhere else! Anyway, let me back up, as I finally mentioned to Vickie that the person she assigned it to couldnāt find it and neither could my boss, or me. That morning there was a slack message directed to me and the co-worker (From 3:00 am no doubt! She worked weird hours.) with essentially the equivalent of a ālet me google that for youā diagram she made. It had passive aggressive notes that said āI typed in this box, then I hit enter, then the information popped up, just like I thought it would.ā Well, I had had it. I showed it to Nick and he helped me write quick response. I said something along the lines of āHi Vickie, this is not an appropriate form of communication. Thanks for the information. Iāll get it updated.ā She messaged me privately (which was funny, because she was always so public with her reactions) and said she was sorry and didnāt mean anything by what she said. Then next day, they let me go because of what was typed the day prior.
It was July 3rd and the office was going to be closed in the afternoon, in celebration of July 4th! Everyone came in Americana attire and were ready to play softball / eat snow cones. I arrived around 8:00 am. Around 9:00 am, my boss asked me to meet in our COOās office. I didnāt think anything of it, as he (my boss / the CEO) didnāt have his own office and we often used other meeting spaces to talk. I walked into the office and immediately felt my stomach sink like a rock. There was tension in the air. They started with āYou want to talk about what you said yesterday?ā To be honest, I thought they were just reprimanding me. They both said they didnāt see anything wrong with the way Vickie spoke to me and the other co-worker on Slack and that I was in the wrong for addressing a superior like that. Pause here, as I was never told she was above me. I knew she had seniority, but I didnāt report to herā¦we both reported to the CEO. Also, I didnāt see anything wrong with what I had said. They told me that I held all the things I had previously brought to the attention of my boss against Vickie and that influenced how I read her message on Slack. My boss then proceeded to say that I kept talking to Vickie even though he asked me not to, and I had done all these other bad things and that this was the last straw. Pause again - isnāt there a problem if you have to ask an employee not to speak to another one, because they are aggressive? They didnāt think so, as they literally said that Vickie acted and communicated exactly how they would want her to.
I politely asked for examples, as I couldnāt think of any regarding my ābad behaviorā he spoke of. He quickly mentioned, āoh thereās a ton!ā I again asked for examples. He then stumbled a bit, but looked me right in the eye and said āYouāre right - there arenāt any examples. I just donāt want to deal with this anymore.ā I gently asked what do you mean? (everything started to play in slow motion for me at this point.) Just last week you were begging me to stay for at least a year. He got up from the table and said āWell things change. We are giving you two weeks pay. I have to go to another meeting.ā and left the room. The COO then had me sign a form that i wasnāt aware I didnāt have to sign. (I talked about that here.) She said that there wasnāt a box for them to check to fit this situation, so they had to check the box that said āunsatisfactory workā, but that they would put in the comments ānot a good fit.ā A tear slid down my cheek, as I signed that form. She then said I could get my stuff this weekend (It was Wednesday) and before she could finish the sentence, I said, āno - Iāll get my things now.ā She walked me back to the room where my desk was and I proceeded to grab my things. I had a bunch of tea boxes, my personal laptop, my liter water bottle, and more - not the easiest things to carry. I was flustered and in a hurry, so I kept (embarrassingly) dropping everything. I was then escorted out to my car.
BUT WAIT. As I let out the first audible cry (in my car), I realized that I didnāt have my Ray-ban sunglasses. In my frenzy, I had left them on my desk. No way was I letting them keep those, so I marched right back up to the office. I had to be buzzed into the front, but luckily the receptionist liked me and had no idea what was going on. I had already broken the seal, so tears were flowing, and there really wasnāt any holding back. The COO wasnāt in her office, so I had to poke my head in to find someone else to go get them for me. Finally, a nice lady said she would go get them for me. While she was gone, the receptionist asked if I was ok. I said, āno, but I [will] be ok.ā She asked what happened and I told her they let me go. She said sheād be praying for me and I said thank you. She paused and then asked if I believed in God. I said, āyesā and she said āI alway notice when you walk in in the morning, because you have an infectious smile. This morning when you walked in, God told me he had big, big plans for you.ā I got chills and started crying harder. I said, āThank you so much, but you should probably stop talking to me - I donāt want you to get in trouble for doing so.ā The lady came back with my sunglasses soon after. And with that I cried the entire 45 minute drive home and then some. We had a trip planned for the next day anyway, so I cried some more, packed, went to bed, then woke up and traveled to LAā¦ my soon to be home. I just didnāt know it yet.
To wrap upā¦
I never signed a contract with my previous employer - I asked for one, but they said they didnāt ever do contracts and treated hires more like contractors. I was fine with the pay and benefits, plus I had what I wanted in an email/written format, so I didnāt think to worry. Not super weird, but also not like any of my other jobs. It definitely made me upset writing this, but I think I am on the path to healing. Pride has always been something I struggled with, but I thought I had it in check as of late. Not having a job has wrecked my pride in a crazy, but good way. I never knew how much pride I had in āhaving a job.ā It was always normal and something most people had. Having it taken away from me left me feeling naked and unworthy. I couldnāt hide behind my job during small talk anymore and still have trouble telling people what I do. Nick has helped me a lot with this though. A job is not who you work for, but what you do. READ THAT AGAIN. So, what are your skills? Thatās what you do! Also, who you are as a person is not what your skillsets are. I challenge you to try to have deeper conversations with people you meet, that go beyond what they are wearing and/or what their occupation is. Itās hard, but pretty rewarding. Plus it lets you connect deeper with others, which is much needed in this day and age!
Thanks so much for reading! This post was hard to write, but so needed. At the end of the day, Iām still healing, but Iām also over here singing THANK U NEXT w/ Ariana Grande. Iām stoked for whatever is coming my way and thankful for what happened, because Iām here living the dream in 70 degree weather in Los Angeles.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28
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*Name has been changed
A random side note - these images may seem misplaced, but I put them with this blog post on purpose! These are shots from our trip to Carmel last month. I wanted to include them with this blog post, because not only do they have a happy vibe for a dreary subject, but this is a wonderful lightweight sweater!! I have had the grey version for a couple years now, but they came out with new, stunning colors this season! I really like it because itās great for work AND the weekend. Itās warmish, meaning itās good for chilly days, but is thin enough to be a marvelous layering piece. I styled it under a blazer here, but it works well as a stand alone piece too. My favorite new colors are this mauve and the prettiest maroon. Great for the holiday season, if you ask me! It is cashmere, so on the pricier side, but it is a basic silhouette and lasts, so youāll be wearing it for a while!
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